I know there are a lot of people out there that have convinced themselves they see auras. I am here to tell you, they are correct. In fact, I myself do this. I have the unique ability to use my sixth sense to tell if people are repellent. I start by using my aura to ask them, “Hey, do you think you can see my aura.” When they say “Yes,” I glow like the sun and immediately shit myself.

If they say “No,” nothing happens because none of this is real.

Enjoy hell, bitch.