You know who must be the saddest of the American sports fan families?

Texan hockey fans.

Think about it.

The only city in the state with a club? Dallas. The worst city in Texas. A black hole of culture, devoid of any relevance beyond its borders and yet carries an audacity that will lead it to claim otherwise. A mecca of yuppie deviance and boat shoes, with a boring ass skyline, and an attitude to match. It does nothing the worst, nor the best, nor even particularly mediocre. It is insultingly bland to the point you wonder why anyone has any pride in it. It is an insult to a state like Texas.

Also their only cup came from a goal that should not have counted. (lmao)

Austin? They got the Texas Stars that’s cool I guess. But they exist in the shadow of the Stars, therefore they serve their Dallas masters. That’s super fucking lame.

Houston? For having a super successful franchise with some of the top attendance numbers in the league (no seriously), and for being one of the only teams in the city to remain consistently competitive enough to care about, were banished to mother fucking Iowa. A fate worse than death. The one city with hockey history spreading back to the 70s, an established franchise with recognition, merchandising and colors that are already out in the while and could print money in the future if they wanted to do “throwback” stuff, an instant cross-state rivalry with Dallas that would be fucking awesome for the league to see. The War for Texas could potentially rival the Philly-Pittsburgh rivalry, seriously, there are some people with bad blood in Houston for Dallas and Dallas for Houston. It kinda owns for an outsider like me, and I can appreciate the tenacity I anecdotally saw at the Aeros games I attended. Also, an NHL-ready arena sitting in downtown with access to an international airport. Sure traffic sucks, but there is literally no good reason why there isn’t an NHL club there. Even from a business standpoint, leaving such a massive TV audience untapped is beyond dumb.

San Antonio? Fucking RIP to the Rampage, sorry guys.

All those cities and only one NHL squad.

Come on man!

You’re breaking my iced up little balls over this!

Bitch!